Parents, Kids, Cops and Bullies

Bullying is a hot button topic these days and the Keaton Jones viral video has again brought up a lot of questions about how to respond to bullying in appropriate ways. As both a father and a cop that’s dealt with kids who have been involved (on both sides) of bullying, I offer up my thoughts on the topic fora few minutes.

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46 thoughts on “Parents, Kids, Cops and Bullies

  1. That "Are you challenging me to a fight" question is a good one. It's a lot like how I decide whether to draw my G30S and smoke someone who's giving me trouble, or try verbally solving the problem. (or a swift kick to the nuts if the threat level is somewhere in between)

  2. Is the kid in that video special needs? If so, this subject hits pretty close to home for me, having grown up dealing with Autism Spectrum Disorder.

  3. When I got to high school I got picked on by 1 bully, when I told my dad about it he said :what do I feed you for? Never start a fight but always finish one. Got suspended for a week but he never touched me again.

  4. In my case I'm Autistic and my speech problems were much worse so talking wasn't an option. Coordination and muscle issues means I couldn't fight back- not an option. Schools refused to listen or do anything at all. The police dept? Actual quote: 'It's not our problem. It's the school's problem. Don't call again.' And you want people to stand up for cops when they flat out refuse to help a special needs teen who's been held at knifepoint in school numerous times? COPS NEED TO TAKE THIS ISSUE SERIOUSLY AND RESPOND EVERY TIME! I really want to hear you discuss the issue of cops refusing to help kids being physically and repeatedly bullied as with my case!

  5. I think they’re in a perfect world asking someone to stop it’s a great idea, however I don’t think if you’re telling someone to stop the way that you are suggesting, it’s going to work, I know from experience, not being bullied but other kinds of experiences that people don’t care what you say if they already have no emotion to care about in the first place

  6. They don’t do shit for bullying nowhere and they wonder why places get shot up and you wanna know something I guarantee you that 90% of school shootings are due to bullying that somebody got picked on till they finally ended up trying to kill someone I know only if people intervened into that shit could they slow that shit down another

  7. My little sister at the time was in i think 6th grade she was like 5 10 at the time or just short of thst and her girlftiend or whatever was a non gendefed whatrver the fuck and her brother wrnt to the same schopl snd was teasing her and she beat the piss out of him and didnt get in sny trouble because he was teasing a non binary kid ot whatever its so weird

  8. Mike you're a good dude. Your perspective on the matter and your words say a lot about your character. Seems to have genuine compassion for humanity. The world should take lessons. Especially today's world.

  9. My dad saw me get in my first real fight. So did the other kid's dad. Everyone knew that this kid had been picking on me and apparently decided that 7 is a good age to start standing up for yourself. So, they let it go for a minute until we both know who won before they broke it up. The only thing my dad had to say about it was "That last cross was a solid punch."

  10. I think this is outstanding. I would only add (and I suspect you would include in a more complete discussion) is the acknowledgement that one may need to skip to a particular step depending on the urgency of the situation.

    Thanks for the content.

  11. in elementary school telling worked in middle school in middle/high it did not work at all now i’m a police officer it’s a lot easier to get people to back down and so i try to make as little physical contact as possible to prevent a fight so i found this took me way back

  12. I'd like to add that if a bully is physically aggressive or abusive towards you it's 100% ok to do it back to them the first time, preferably as soon as possible, with double or triple the force. I had to do this three times in highschool to three different bullies. hit one with a back pack full of books, pushed off a desk into a metal vice while in a choke hold (bullies back hit the vice), and threw a kid across a room who was grabbing me and reaching into my pockets.

  13. I always taught my girls how to take care of a bully. Usually once the bully gets thier nose broken it's over. Move on nothing to see here.

  14. Hi Mike, I was bullied as a kid. I have always been the tallest and biggest of my class and yet that never stopped the bullies. Later in life, I became a Knight of Columbus. My uncle insisted. Everyone talked about how hard the 3rd degree initiation was. To me it was very tamed compared to a session with a bully and his friends. Yes, bullies never picked on me when I they were alone.

    Later on in life, when I had kids of my own, we had a Child King on our street. No parents liked him. Every time he played with our kids there were issues. In junior high school, he went with his gang to beat up a kid that went to a private high school. The cops had to get involved. In my generation, it is customary for kids to call their parents with their first name. Parents want to be friends with their kids. How can a friend have authority over another friend? How can a friend reprimand another friend? My kids called me Dad and my wife, Mom. We showed respect and expected the same in return. We allowed any kids in the neighbourhood in our house where other parents did not. We didn't allow swaring or jumping on couches in our house. As long as the kids respected the house rules, they were welcome. When things degraded and they started to scream and swear, out they went to play street hockey for an hour. We were full equipped for that.

    As much as we love our kids, getting them to see and understand real life is important. And more than that, they learned to accept word "no". "You can't always get what you want but if you try sometimes, well, you might find you get what you need".

  15. I dont have kids but I've always been & still protective of the kids in my family, my little sister & my nieces. I know people will say it's not "the same" but not all kids have parents around & that's what bullies look for. But trust me bullies are caught off guard by the big brother/uncle which is just as scary lol

  16. I was bullied pretty bad in jr high by the group of guys. The school administration did nothing, no matter how much my mom complained. They just said “kids will be kids”. I hated it and it got so bad that at many times I actually contemplated suicide.

    It wasn’t until freshman year in high school that the varsity football team became my big brothers and would stand up for me. It gave me the confidence that I needed

  17. That all sounds good however, Andrew (11 years old) was being bullied and he did let people know. I believe his mom did everything she she knew what to do and Andrew was raised to be a gentle man. One day he was playing on the playground and his bully was there.. That day, he died. They believe the bully killed him but nothing happened to the bully even though the story was changed a few times by the bully, his step father found him hanging.
    Kids shouldn't have to be the ones to deal with this alone..but gotta tell you I work in the schools and the zero tolerance bullying policy only looks good on the posters they plaster on the walls.. Its a lie.
    Not to long ago a student (who should have been kicked out a long time ago) was gripping a pencil in his hand, inches from another students face, and his hand was shaking like he was going to stab him. I saw it and grabbed the violent kids wrist and yanked the pencil out of his hand, later i was told I could get in trouble for what I did because i was "supposed to take the rest of the kids out of the room" and because I wasn't in immediate danger i shouldn't have done that.. Reminding the teacher the other kid was in immediate danger so I didn't regret what I did and there was no reason I should get in trouble for protecting him. I told the principal and the officer at tje school what happened.. The violent kid was not sent home and the coumselor said because they didnt habe an iep on him they didnt know how to deal with it… This is an educated expert telling me theu didnt know what to do about it.
    These kids are pretty much on their own in the schools at least where I live and if the parents dont step up, then it will get worse.
    When my child was bullied, I threatened the school and her dad threatened the parents. The bullying stopped..but if left to school on their own, it didnt stop
    And parents need to step if their kid is the bully..

  18. one problem. when you get to the make me stage, much of the bullying that goes on today is not physical assault but online harassment. I think, somehow we must get kids to not put so much stock in what someone tweets about them. I it works on the kids, then we can try on the President.

  19. Under paid producer; Baldness is carried on the Y chromosome. Meaning if Mike is balding, you will one day be balding.

  20. r u bullying me?
    – yes!
    oh…
    – what you gonn-
    gets stabbed with pencil

    why you bully yourself???

  21. Your acceptance tangent
    drove a nail into my 48 year
    old journeyman head…thx!
    Jordan Peterson couldn’t have
    said it better!

  22. I was bullied all the way through 12th grade 🙁 I came out of the womb super nice and sweet. I had to learn how to be a turd.

  23. The only way to stop bullying is to punch the fucker in his face until he cries like the little bitch they are. My oldest son was bullied, I complained to the school (and they did nothing…until…) and then finally got sick of it and brought him to school and told my son to kick his ass right now in front of me. The School Principal freaked out, but after that my kids were never bullied again. And neither my son nor the bully (now his best friend) were suspended. I on the other hand had to be escorted at all times on School properties!!! I enjoyed the company!!! LOL

  24. Grace? Uhhhh. What’s that? If it’s god I think that’s crap. We can be good without the jeebus.

  25. I was bullied in school. It didn't stop until I attacked the bully while he was minding his own business. I would hit him and say something like "how do you like it?"

  26. I was bullied from grade 1 to 6, however, it wasn't until my mother passed I learned that teens or children do not understand or care and that is okay. The behaviour from other classmates continued and I stopped caring what people thought of me. I had a core group of friends, the people who would be considered "bullies" in societies eyes did not bother me. In high school, those "bullies" stop their bad behaviour grew to like me because I have chosen kindness.

  27. Just saw this video an I disagree with every fiber of my being that respect is earned. Respect is the heart of the issue. If you do not respect people you treat them how you please. From your own experience in law in forcement you see that the stranger that shows you respect the interaction goes without incident but, the the stranger that shows you no respect is the one that end up with citations or arrest. An we have a mixed religious culture here in the USA and almost all of them teach respect is given not earned. An if you believe in a world where respect is earned then we would be living total ancharcy. I got in a lot of fight from elementary school to high school because they did not show an respect for me and I had to remind them with my fist that I am a human being, that I live and breath, that I am intelligent and that I will not be treat like dirt. Now I am not here to fan the flame but, the system of how to stop bullyis braking and will remain that way until we get this notion of respect is earn out of our ideology at every level in our culture. Can you be a person of different dissent from me, I can show you respect. You can be a person of authority, I can show you respect. You can be a person of a different religion or no religion at all and I can still show you respect. You can be a person of Impoverishment and hardship, and I can still show you respect. You can be a person of the law and of mass knowledge, And I can still show you respect. Persons with mental illness and this order and debilitating physical handicaps out there, you can still show respect. For all the law-enforcement agents in for all our brothers and sisters in arms here in the states and out abroad Protecting our nation, you can show them respect. They can be criminals in the vilest of the human species and commit the most vitalist acts known to man, And I can still show respect. Everything mentioned above I can show respect to and give respect to even though I don’t like it, ( the criminals) and even if I don’t want to give that respect I must give it because if I do not give that respect how do I expect respect in return. It is fundamentally impossible to Not give respect and then expect respect in return. Respect is given freely and whether or not it is returned and kind is up to the individual, but do not say it is earned is a fallacy and is ideology incorrect. We must correct this if you want a more Harmonious world to live in. Respect is given freely nothing more nothing less respect is respect,” For I the Lord God I am a respecter of no persons therefore I give unto you a commandment to respect all men.” Study this topic in depth learn about respect understand respect and live respect that is the only way to truly understand what respect is.

  28. Hey @mikethecop, I am just watching this video a little over a year following its original post. I do agree with and understand many of the key points you have illustrated. I was notoriously bullied from very young childhood, throughout junior high school. Things improved in high school but I did on a rare occasion get bullied. I won’t get into all the nitty gritty details since it is a long story. I had to learn social skills, learn to self advocate, and learn how to not be timid so I can confidently assert myself. It has taken me several years to grow my backbone because I got sick and tired of being a doormat/punching bag.

    You made some really great points and I 100% agree that it is important to not shelter kids from the realities of the world. Unfortunately sometimes the solutions you shared to bullying are not that simple. I tried the methods you shared when I was bullied and unfortunately they didn’t work for me, the bullying got worse.

    It is critical to be honest with kids telling them that you will encounter mean people who and the world is not always going to be pretty. It is important to teach kids that there are situations when someone is being mean that ignoring it and/or telling someone to stop because it…is appropriate. It is equally important to tell kids that there are situations when bullying occurs that you don’t confront the bully and tell an adult so it can be handled appropriately. Give kids specific examples of both types of situations.

    When I was bullied, it was so bad that I said I was ill when I wasn’t that I would tel my folks I was sick so I could stay home. If this happens, that is a big red flag that something is wrong and an indicator that parents do some detective work by asking their kids to open up about what is happening. When you ask kids to open up, listen to them without judgment no matter how bad things are because getting them to open up is the only way you will be able to help your kid. My parents didn’t do that for me and I opened up about this as an adult to them when they asked me how they could have been better when I was growing up.

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